It's been a year since Ryan came home - This is what we've learned!
Our journey of leaving corporate America and bringing Ryan home has started over a year ago now! And we wanted to share with you how it's been going.
First off, I know there are a lot of new faces here that don't know our story or our journey, so I thought I was preface this blog post with a little more information about Ryan's job and why he chose to leave. Ryan has been a tradesman his whole life. He went to school for HVAC/ heating and cooling, and when I first met him he was a journeyman in the union. Hes worked commercial HVAC, residential HVAC, and he ended up doing HVAC at the largest 3M plant in America for 7 years. Although Ryan's degree was in HVAC, he is also very talented in project management, as well as so many other areas. He can problem solve any situation (as you all know) and gets the job done. It was this motivation that pushed him to pursue management at 3M. After 7 years of maintaining equipment at 3M, he found himself as a supervisor on the scotch tape line:) Although this was exciting and a new challenge, along with it came a lot of new learning, stress of managing many men, as well as the stress of making sure one of the most productive lines kept running. (ex. phone calls at all hours of the day/night) He knew this job was a temporary one (he was there a year and a half) until he could work his way up to a different position. When his dream position of supervising the utilities team opened up (his main jam) he applied for it and amazingly he got the position. It was a very desirable position that many people were applying for. He felt like this is a spot he could spend the rest of his working years and end up retiring from.
Right at the time of him changing positions, COVID hit. Obviously this made his job 3x as hard as it should have been. All sorts of new procedures were put into place, many that Ryan had to carry out. The morale of all the people tanked with new requirements of wearing masks and sitting 6 feet apart. The environment was intense. Ryan knew that he didn't get a fair shot at this job because of COVID and wanted to wait it out. After about 6 months of the job we noticed Ryan's health going down hill. He noticed his heartrate beating irregular often, had a hard time sleeping, and went into the doctor with the diagnosis to get on blood pressure medication because of high blood pressure. This obviously was a huge wake up call to us, knowing that ultimately Ryan's health wasn't worth any job.
It was at this time we started praying about what to do and wondering if we could take a huge leap of faith and have Ryan come home. It seemed so unattainable, yet we also had such a peace about it, a scary peace, that we had endless conversations with mentors, stayed up late at night talking about it, ran numbers, and prayed over it. I knew that I did not want to pressure Ryan in any way to quit, I wanted it to be his decision. And throughout that year of turmoil, when corporate America became more political, more position cuts (which meant Ryan's responsibilities doubled) and more stress from a tense work environment that had no end in sight, we decided to take the biggest leap of faith we've taken in a business sense and Ryan put in his two weeks. To say he/we shocked a ton of people was a HUGE understatement. How could we give up such a stable job, with good benefits, retirement packages, and security? Easy, because it wasn't worth it. Ryan had the realization during this year that he had worked his way up to the position he had always wanted, yet it left him empty. In the business world he was set. If he rode it out, he would retire very successful, yet at what cost? He realized he was giving 3M 90% of himself and coming home to us with 10% left. Going against everything the world shouts (success, finances, stability) Ryan quit.
This photo was from one of the first years Ryan started at 3M as an HVAC technician:) 3M was good to us for a very long time, it let me be home with my babies and was a sweet season for many years!
So the adventure begins...
I feel like there's so much to share, so I'll do my best to cover it all. The first and probably most asked question that we both got when we made this decision is how can you afford this financially?
First off, we had been praying about this for a year, so we had time to prepare. The first 7-8 years Ryan worked at 3M I made no income beside House on a Hill, our occasional sale that we have 3x a year. And fortunately for us, that side business was enough for us to purchase a little cabin on a lake close to our home, something we never thought possible. So going into this we knew we had one safety net for sure. We had a cabin that we could rent out and create income on if we needed.
On top of that my Instagram had taken off and was creating an income of its own. What I had done for 8 years with no payment all of a sudden turned into an opportunity to work with brands we loved to earn flat fees, as well as commissions on items I buy and share and in turn you guys end up purchasing. This income was something new to us, something we weren't used to having to "live on" and we made a conscious decision early on to not get "accustomed" to it, knowing how IG can be, and put most of it into savings. We didn't change any of our monthly payments (besides a truck payment) so that if something happened, we still knew our monthly bills would stay the same. By the time Ryan quit his job we had almost a years' worth of his income in savings, which we felts was another good safety net. So when we say we took a leap of faith, we did have some safety nets in place;)
On top of that, I knew that the key to being successful financially was to diversify, diversify, diversify! I've heard this from so many business people and it really made sense to me. We didn't want all of our eggs in one basket, especially IG, because if you lose one income, you still have a means to another one. It was at this time we invested into my new website that had the capacity to have an online shop. (I even helped launch a very similar looking website anyone can use and make their own to have their own shop HERE if that's something that interests you!) I was super excited to actually "own" this little piece of internet and be able to do with it what I want. You know I shared my Dad's story on it, and that in and of itself was so amazing to me. And soon after that we had our first merchandise launch. The guest house became an office, we were able to employ a couple of Ryan's family members, and a third stream of income was possible. When I say we couldn't have done this without all of you, I truly mean it. God has blessed us in so many ways, and we truly go to Him in everything we do, and you are an answer to a huge part of that prayer! So, for the financial aspect, we are doing good! And we hope to continue to keep on diversifying, and if you read my last blog post you know the next adventure we are on to make that come true!
But what about insurance and retirement?!?
After the financial questions, this was probably the second most popular! And I get it. When Ryan quit we had gotten a quote from cobra to keep the insurance we were paying through 3M for about $400/month to now about $1700/ month. That alone is a huge change in income and one that would be hard to swallow. Knowing many couples who own their own business, we knew that there are a lot of insurance options, and also knowing that there are many Christian "insurance" options available! And I say "insurance" because they aren't your typical insurance, which I kind of love! It's more like the body of Christ all chipping in and paying for everyone's needs! The monthly payment goes directly to the individual that needs it! There are quite a few options out there, but we ultimately ended up going with Medi-share. You can check them out HERE. There are different plans, and we chose one with a higher deductible to keep the monthly payment down. I believe our deductible is about $6,000 and our monthly payment for a family of 6 is $550/month. We felt like this was a good fit because we rarely go to the doctor and we really only wanted it for emergencies. As for dental insurance, we didn't get that right away, and after going for 4 cleanings and paying over $700 we decided we needed to look into that ASAP. I ended up choosing Guardian Direct for dental. The monthly rate was a little higher at $220/month but it covered half of orthodontics which I felt like was worth it, and all of our dentists were in-network. Another huge plus was that there was no waiting period for dental care, whereas most other companies made you wait 6-12 months for coverage. Teeth is one area our family ends up spending a lot of money so this is almost more important than health insurance for everyday concerns:)
As for retirement and all the extras 3M offered....
That is a package that we had to give up, and as of yet we haven't opened a new retirement plan. We are grateful for the retirement Ryan has created the last 20 years of working, and our goal right now is to create long term income that can double as a retirement income for the future. We also think investing in land and property is one of the "safest" retirements right now, and that's where our goal and focus is. We have never been huge risk takers in the stock market but would rather own our own retirement and know what we have, if that makes sense:) So I guess in that aspect we are taking a leap of faith and our retirement may look different than the typical retirement:)
Now for the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly...
Which I know I promised to share with you all! We will start with the good! Because there is a lot of good! The good is that Ryan's health has massively improved! He no longer has any irregular heartbeats, and his high blood pressure has evened out! A HUGE plus!! It's truly amazing what unhealthy stress can do to the body! He absolutely loves the active lifestyle he gets to live now, and now instead of coming home from a full day of work and helping me work on projects or do his own projects until bedtime, he gets to put his work in during the day, alongside all of us, and then we can enjoy our nights together! It has been such an amazing game changer. The kids get to see a much more patient dad, husband, and leader. We have been able to slow our pace of life down and leave more time to be intentional in our kids' lives and those lives around us. Ryan does a lot in helping to take care of his family as well and now he has been able to enjoy it and it not be an additional level of stress. Some people asked if Ryan now cooks breakfast and helps with homeschool:) Well, he does cook breakfast sometimes, I'm still looking to get him in the kitchen more, and with home chef back in the game I think that can be a possibility;) He has been the new best dish washer and even that small act alone is amazing! It's so fun to come into the kitchen and be surprised to see someone else has cleaned up lunch! He still doesn't feel qualified to teach the kiddos in the educational subjects, but it's amazing how much hands on learning they are gaining by working with him! This summer alone Tate learned how to lay shingles, tin a roof, and put-up siding. He's also learned a ton about small engine repair and can basically fix his own dirt bike and troubleshoot his boat motor. Practical skills that will not only save him money but will allow him job opportunities and provide him lifetime skills! These things alone are invaluable! Another huge "good" that will also be talked about in the "bad" is that this year allowed us to work on our marriage more than any other time in our life. Quite honestly when Ryan first quit 3M we thought he would have his own project to work on away from the home with a couple of months. If you read this blog post you know that that wasn't in God's plan, and Ryan ended up being home a lot more than we realized. And what we realized is that all of those same "fights" that you keep having over and over or those "issues" that you keep sliding under the rug, don't really go away. And when you are together 24/7 you realize in a jiffy that if you want this to work then you are going to have to work for it! With that being said, Ryan started counseling at the beginning of the year to deal with some unresolved trauma he's had in his life, and I've went with him as well to work on our marriage. At the beginning of the year, he clearly heard God tell him that this would be one of the hardest years of his life, but if he persevered and put in the work it would also be one of the most rewarding years of his life. I'm so grateful to do this marriage with a man who is pressing into God and wanted the best for us. And this is not to say that we have an easy marriage, because if you are in our small group (which you kind of are) you will know that we are the ones that ask for prayer the most, are super honest maybe to a fault of what we are dealing with, and tend to fight like oil and water. So there's that. Which I believe will lead us in the the bad and the ugly together....oh fun! lol!
The bad and the ugly...
I've said many times on IG that what you see is a highlight reel. I've had times I've shared struggles Ryan and I are going through, but the majority is a 2–5-minute clip of our day where we want to keep it positive and uplifting. With that being said, many times we can get different ideas of a family/marriage with anyone on IG because we are only seeing the highlight reel. So, it really is true when people say, don't always believe everything you see. Ryan and I never want to "fool" you, but we also don't want to drag you down. I am writing this post to be a little more vulnerable and real with you all so that you maybe don't feel as alone in your marriage, and you know every marriage is worth fighting for because all marriage is hard, and all marriages struggle. Having Ryan home 24/7 at first was a breeze. If you remember correctly Ryan ended up quitting 3M the week before my dad went into the hospital, which in and of itself was a God thing. He was able to stay home with the kids while I ran back and forth to WI to be with my mom. But the first couple months were such a whirlwind of hard and new that we didn't get the true experience of Ryan being home full time. We even thought to ourselves, wow! This transition is going amazingly smooth. I had so many fears about it, and it ended up being great. Until it wasn't great:) Which hit about month 3. Month 3 is when I started to get a little claustrophobic. Ryan is a very emotional person and I tend to be the more unemotional person in our relationship. I need a little space and he doesn't know what space is:) So to have him in my space all the time started to feel a bit suffocating. And how do you say that to your hubby who has no clue what that is like and not completely crush him.
We also realized that we both work very differently! He likes to wake up and start his day pronto! And have in depth discussions about what we are going to do and how it's going to look and get the party started. I wake up to my day (for 13 years by myself with him gone to work) and ease into it. I like to wake up before the kids, so I have quiet time to brew a cup of coffee, sit down with my Bible, catch up on emails, and all before I need to "talk" to anyone:) My day officially starts around 9ish when I get up and get going. Lol, drastically different. We had to communicate, communicate, communicate, to try to not hurt each other's feelings in the process of what we both needed (which wasn't always successful) but where counseling also helped play a big role. We realized how important it was to talk through everything before reacting to everything. This has been a 6 month learning curve of not only learning to communicate, but also learning and appreciating the different work styles that we have:) We are both get it done kind of people, but we get it done in very different ways:)
Another thing that was very challenging for me was the pressure of having to "provide" for the family during this time of unknown. And I hate even saying that, because Ryan and I are a team in everything we do, but he completely does not get IG, lol, and he really can't help in much of the financial/business aspects about it. So it felt like extra pressure for me and I overcommitted (and am just now trying to scale back) in fear of not making it financially. We truly did not see over a year coming and going before we had a project that generated its own income that more relied on Ryan than me:) So I'm grateful to get that started and for our roles to be in line with how spiritually we want to live. Ryan is always the head of our house, but there were times that it felt backwards. It is a season and I'm grateful God has so faithfully provided.
Another hard, yet good, was the way Ryan could help me by DIY'ing. Anything I was about to do he would say, I can do that! And for a long time, I'm like THIS IS AMAZING!!! He did all the hard work, all the dirty work, all the messy work. But all of a sudden, I realized I was losing some of my joy because I love creating! The process, as hard and messy as it is, is also the reward when you are done! It was easy for me to pass it off because it was something Ryan could take off my plate, but the whole reason I had started this account was to show women they could do hard things, learn new skills, and create houses into homes they love for a fraction of the price. I felt like I was losing myself in that and was turning more into a businesswoman. That's honestly why I told Ryan I needed to start Sweet Caroline, the newest vintage camper we are redoing! I needed to create again because it was good for my soul! And next week I am going hard core on her and can't wait to transform the inside to something beautiful!
So that, in a nutshell, is some of what the past year has looked like for us. I know there is so much more to chat about, and I didn't even touch on some of the questions you had for Ryan like, does he miss 3M, does he feel fulfilled, how has the transition been for him, because I couldn't get him to sit down long enough to type something out and I don't want to try to answer that for him:) So we are going to hop on a live on Instagram next week hopefully and talk through more of the ?'s you asked that I printed out and address them all. For now, just know that we are super grateful for all of you to join our journey, we hope we can encourage you to continually look to God and His path for your life, strive to make your marriage better no matter how hard it is, and keep giving Him all the glory and the praise, because through it all, He is good! We love you! Thanks for taking the time to read this!
