Sometimes I love this world we live in, other times I despise it.
I love God’s beauty when I look out my kitchen window, I love the giggles I hear coming out of my kids mouths, I love the people that hold me up, support me, and love me regardless. I love the fact that I can use my gifts to create, explore, and challenge myself. I love a lot of it because it is all I know.
But yet I despise it. I despise that there is hurt and suffering. I despise that there is bondage. I despise that there is such deep sin, and struggles. I despise that I have to shield my kids from so much EVERY.DAY.
I despise that I have to teach Kynlee that she is more than just a body, and to teach Tate to stand against all the world teaches us and be a man after God’s heart instead. I despise that moral issues are being re-written and that we live in a feel good society. And right now especially, I despise that Satan is attacking marriage like none other. I see them crumbling all around me and my.heart.aches. It aches for eternity…now. It aches for no more struggles and no more pain.
18 Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. Romans 8:18
But yet I am blessed, and sometimes it doesn’t seem fair. I am blessed with a husband who views me as more than just a body, a husband who turns his head when an inappropriate image flashes on the screen, a husband who protects his mind and much as mine. And a husband who is up for the battle of fighting all that this world has to throw at him and other men like him! And I see hope.
And I need that hope to raise my children. To raise children in a world where it seems they are doomed to fail. Where the fight is so big. Where everyone screams, you can do it on your own, you don’t need a savior.
And then the Lord reminds me that although there is bad in this world, there is still good. And that He created US to BE THE GOOD! To PRAY without ceasing, to LOVE the broken, and to LIVE lives that REFLECT HIM and to reach people ONE relationship AT A TIME! And then again I find hope. Hope that I can raise the next generation of precious little souls to follow His rules. To live by His standards. To be life changers wherever they end up.
And I am encouraged that I need to step up ! My life needs to look different from the things I so deeply despise. My family can be an example of the BLESSINGS that come from having a Savior, running TO Him during hurt and struggles instead of FROM Him. And praying for Jesus to free those I love, to squelch the enemy that fights for it all, and love the broken hearted and hurting to shine light into their lives.
So yeah. That’s my heart today. It’s been a bit heavy lately, and I needed to challenge myself to step back and realize that although at times it looks hopeless, the Lord uses the weak.
And I’m hoping, that maybe just maybe, some of you are sick of it too that you decide it’s time for change.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39