Well, I’m a few days late, like always, but I thought I’d finally getting around to sharing my new years resolution.  In the past these have been strictly surface resolutions and purely for myself.  I want to eat better, exercise more, give up soda, etc. etc.  This year though I have wanted my resolution to be a spiritual one.  One that not only betters me, but betters my whole family, community, friendship circle.  I’ve been seeing everyone pick a “word for the year” and I thought I’d join in.

I originally decided my resolution was going to be to stop judging other and just show love.  Cause you see I struggle with that sometimes.  I struggle when people say one thing but then act another way.  I find myself so quick to judge their heart, and quite honestly, it’s.not.my.place.  If I could just love and show actions that match my words, I would be a far better witness, friend, wife, mother, etc etc.  Well, that’s a great resolution but I decided that’s a life lesson I’m going to try to strive for always, and fail at miserably, but still try:)

I really wanted my resolution to be a powerful word, and after reading a couple chapters in my Bible study book I came up with it.

PRAYER.

Simple right??

Well for me it’s tough.

Tough to find the time in the day to do it.

Tough to not fall into routine prayers.

Tough to not fall asleep while praying.

And that’s just honesty.

The book our Bible Study is reading through is called “The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears.”  

And I’m not going to lie, I struggled with this book at first.  The whole idea around it is about praying bold prayers.  This quote actually comes from the book…

The reason I had such a hard time with it was because I have prayed bold prayers before.  Prayers that my baby girl would get healed.  That I could keep her.  That she would miraculously not have a genetic disorder once she was born.  And you know what?  That prayer wasn’t answered.   I wasn’t mad at God for it, I just assumed that was not His will.  So then I thought why would I pray for what I want?  The Lord knows the desires of my heart, He knows what I want.  Instead I’ll just pray,

“Your will be done Lord.”

“You know what’s best Lord.”

“Your ways are perfect Lord.”

And all of those are true.  But, what I found is that my prayer life was getting very shallow.  I had lost some of the passion in my prayers cause I thought that no matter what I prayed it would end up the way the Lord wanted it too.  I didn’t want to offend God.  I didn’t want to be bold.  I didn’t want to get hurt.  I wanted to play it safe.

And in playing it safe, I started to distance myself from God.

I made the relationship more 1 way and not 2 ways.

I started to feel alone.

So my new years resolution is to pray bold prayers.  Not prayers like, Lord I desire to win the lottery, or even bless us with  money, or I want to drive a brand new Honda mini van with built in vacuum cleaner cause that is a…mazing! (just saying)

But prayers that matter.  Prayers for family. and friends. and change.  

Prayers that men rise up and be leaders, prayers that husbands are found for my dear sweet friends who want to be wife’s, prayers for my kids that their hearts seek God, long into their adult years.  Prayers that my heart shows love, real love.

Real prayers.  Prayers that change people.  Prayers that change me. Prayers that matter. 

And you know what?  I’m excited to be passionate about praying again.  I’m excited to see what God will do with me and my bold prayers.  I’m excited to know that even if I don’t see an answer now, or tomorrow, or in a year…that my God hears, and He is faithful, and that He will follow through one way or another.  And that’s what I loved in the last chapter I read of this book.  The chapter that addressed the “long and boring prayers.”  The ones that we usually give up on cause we don’t see results.

And the thing that I am most excited for…is to see my relationship with Jesus change.  Because I know that the more I talk to Him, the more I get to know Him, and the more I get to know Him, the more my heart changes, and the more my heart changes, the better my family/friends/ministry will be.   So if you are like me and are late on your resolutions for the year, I can’t think of a much better one than prayer.  Join with me and give it a try:)  Or go pick up the book and decide for yourself how you want to pray…I’m guessing it will rock your world…just a little:)