Life Goes On….

I realized something crazy this last week.  Even though you can receive some of the hardest news you’ve ever been given, life goes on.  People go about their normal lives around you and I tend to look at them with jealousy quite frequently.  I continue to function, dishes have to be done, kids have to be fed…a house has to be kept up.  But always at the back of my mind is, life is so different.  I truly again thank each of you from the bottom of my heart that have sent a card, commented, or told me how often you have been praying.  I can’t believe how many people have told me they wake up in the middle of the night praying for us.  Sometimes I so wish I could peek into the spiritual realm and see what you precious saints are all fighting off for us.  Because I can feel it.  But every once in awhile the enemy still sneaks in.

As I was laying in bed last night I realized how often since we’ve received the news that I just pretend everything is normal.  For the most part the pregnancy has been like my others, precious Jules has been kicking away, and I tell myself everything will be fine.  But then there are times that reality hits.  Sometimes it’s when Kynlee will randomly say mom, I want Baby Jules to go up to Jesus and get better and then come live with us. Me too babe!  But mostly it’s when I’m alone with my thoughts and selfishness seeps in.  I want a sister for my baby girl that’s getting so big already.  I want to see little Jules run around with Tate and Kynlee like they were last night giggling and chasing each other.  I want to snuggle a little baby so bad that doesn’t have tubes coming out of her and stuck in a hospital.  In that fact, I just want to snuggle a live baby.  Will I get to hold her alive??

And then Jesus meets me.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

and I cling to these words…and the amazing prayers from you all!!  Our new motto is one day at a time.  It’s hard to not think about the future but with it being so uncertain all we can do is take it one day at a time.  One kick at a time:)  A week has never felt longer.

So if you continue to pray we just ask for strength to face each day, from a shield of protection over the enemies arrows that try to attack us, and the we continue to hand Jules over to Jesus and allow him to use her in a mighty way.

Also, with this being said…we are going to try to resume somewhat normal life.  More for the fact that we need time to continue on without being drug down with the reality of what may lay ahead.  So, I’m going to continue to blog on home decor, and will also update you with how Jules is doing.  We are planning on having our next Whimsy sale July 26th and the 28th and hope that we see some of your beautiful faces:)  For now I’ll leave you with a few fun pictures from this week away up north.

They keep telling everyone that they got to ride a fish…the looks they get are great:)  This is what they meant:)

Through it all our family has never been closer.  Thank you Jules for that blessing!

At a local resort on Rainy Lake they had a huge birdcage the kids could swing in…

They loved it.

They also got to feed the chipmunks…

and ride one:)

We are BLESSED!!!

Love to you alll:)

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9 thoughts on “Life Goes On….”

  1. Marcia Johnson

    Allie I was so sorry to hear about your sweet babies problems. I am praying for all of you during this most difficult time. Marcia

  2. Allie,

    I just heard tonight about your precious little one. As you know, we have traveled a similiar journey with our precious great-nephew, Parker. Our God is there to walk every step of the way with you. When I found out about my cancer, I told God it was Him and I walking through it together and I depended upon Him for my peace and strength. I know what it is like to feel that life is no longer “normal” and it was hard to see life going on around you as normal when you are fighting the battle and that it would never again be “normal” for me. I will be praying for you, my dear sister.

  3. As I was reading this post I was brought back to where I was a year ago. You HAVE to move forward or you will drive yourself crazy. You can and you will. After Harper’s diagnosis the rest of my pregnancy seemed like it too forever but you will look back a year from now and realize how much you’ve grown as a person. Like I told you before, I get it and let me know if you need me!

  4. Our prayers are with you! I tried to comment on your Trisomy 18 post, but I was on my phone and it didn’t work out. I showed your post to a friend of mine (Jen Gieser, she left a comment on your post) who lost a sweet baby girl to Trisomy 18 almost 18 months ago. I’m a cousin of Ryan’s on the Terning side. Just wanted to let you know our thoughts and prayers are with you all!!!!

  5. You know it is in these moments when you are feeling like everyone else is going about their business that everyone is praying for calmness and love for you and Ryan. Babies are always a blessing and we learn so much from their precious little lives. I found your blog awhile ago through mutual family ( Brent and Jared are cousins of mine) and I know your husband and his family. I enjoy it so much and I visited your first sale and will come to the next. May you be blessed with the warmth of everyone’s loving embrace and prayers.

  6. Allie, I so know how you feel about how the world continues on and things just aren’t the way we think they should be. When my brother died, I was 14. The world continued on but I wanted to scream out, ‘life is not right! My brother is dead and he shouldn’t be! Don’t you care?”. However, people did care, more thsn I knew. I do not know the feeling you are experiencing with your unborn child. The love you have for Julesis grand. But the love God has for Jules is mighty! This baby will teach you many things of that I am sure. Jeremiah 33:3 says call unto me and I will show you great and mighty things which you do not know. Keep calling on God, he is your strength! We love you Allie! Penny

  7. Allie and Ryan, you are truly in our prayers. I, since hearing the news, have wondered how I would have felt, I now how it feels to have multiple pregnancies and loose them, (7), I know what it feels like to hear do not get pregnant again we will loose you, I know what it feels like to hear we may loose baby or mom. But I do not know what this feels like. My heart hurts for you both not out of selffishness, but out of you always want babies healthy and happy. But as I have prayed and reflected on my own life I realized that God is giving you a blessing, no matter what our perception is. This baby is going to be healthy and happy, because it is in the perfect image of God. This is something that after all my struggles with pregnancies I realized. I look at all my kids and know that God has blessed me with amazing angles here on earth, and when I get home he has blessed me with 10 more that I will finally hold. I know that a lot of what I say here comes in time, however God is so amazing as you know, and he has a huge plan for Jules, and it will be exciting to see what that is. Many prayers and hugs for your family. We hope to see you all soon. Take care. The 10 isn’t a typo, it was tough being pregnant for me, we finally found out 4 years ago when I had a hysterectomy why. We love you all.

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