When I got pregnant with Juliet the kiddos were so excited. Especially Kynlee. We weren’t going to find out the sex of the baby (per ryan’s request) and have it be a surprise. Kynlee insisted that it be a girl. I told her that Jesus gets to decide that and it might be a girl or it might be a boy. She still insisted:) Tate was game for it to be a girl as well because he didn’t want to have to share a room. Kynlee was thrilled with the idea. I secretly was hoping for one as well for the selfish reason that I didn’t want to have to switch the kids rooms around. Silly, I know…but right now Kynlee has the big room and Tates room couldn’t fit much more than another pillow in it let alone a crib.
We only decided to find out the sex of the baby once we realized Jule’s condition. We wanted to be able to name her and pray for her specifically. I believe that there is power in that…and I think it’s been proven.
Throughout the pregnancy we tried to prepare the kids as best as possible to the severity of the situation. At random times Kynlee would come up to me and say Jesus is going to make her better and then give her back right mom? Or, I really want baby Jules to live with us forever. I know baby girl, me too.
Tate would be a little more blunt. He would say, Baby Jules might get to come home and live with us but then she’s gonna die. Out of the mouth of babes.
Towards the end of the pregnancy Kynlee started to say that momma was going to have a boy baby next because a boy baby wouldn’t be sick. So hard for them to understand.
We have been so grateful that the kids have gotten to meet baby Jules and bond with her. Along with that though, also is going to come many life lessons…some that are good to learn…and some that are really tough to understand.
My parent’s got to the hospital about 5 minutes after Jules was born and brought the kids in. We really wanted the best chance of them meeting her alive. When they first came in they were both nervous. Neither of them wanted to hold her or kiss her. I can’t say I really blamed them. Doctors were still in the room, they haven’t seen their mom in a hospital bed before, Jules still wasn’t all cleaned up. It was a little intimidating, but I was just hoping they weren’t scared of her. The other day Tate was sitting on the couch watching tv and out of no where he said to me, “Mom, I should have given Jules a kiss at the hospital.”
I love my tender spirited boy. I had never said anything about that but he must have been thinking about it for quite some time. He also said to me, “mom, if someone says Jule’s is weird that’s not nice, right?” My first thought was who said she was weird (mama bear pops out quite fast) but I don’t think anyone did. I think he was just looking out for his little sister.
Life lesson #1 — People that are different from us are just as beautiful and created in the image of God. We are called to love everyone!
Since Jules has been home we have heard some phrases that you wouldn’t normally hear your kids say. The other night Kynlee said, “Is she breathing?? Oh she is!!”
Tate looked at her one night and said, “Is she blue mom?”
and, Does she need oxygen?
Normally you would hope your kids wouldn’t have to think like this, but this is our new reality.
Life Lesson #2–Our days are numbered and only God knows how long we will have. We need to live each day for Jesus and glorify Him, knowing eternity is waiting.
Lastly, the kids have started to bond. Kynlee asked the other day if baby Jules can sleep in her room. When I told her probably not, she got the biggest pout face. They shower her in kisses and hold her every chance mom will give them (which isn’t always a lot since I’m a baby hog.) They say goodnight to her every night and run in to see her in the morning. Juliet has become such a part of our family…they love her.
Life lesson #3–We don’t always understand God’s plan.
This has been a lesson for all of us. We know God is good. We trust Him and his plan for our life. We know he works out good for those who love him. But this does not mean that we always understand everything. We may not understand it until the day we meet Him face to face. Right now, I am just trusting His word and knowing that His will will be done. I’m also praying that somehow my kids can understand this as well.
I know I say it every time, but thank you for your prayers…please continue to pray as we continue on this journey. There are really good days and there are really hard days, and we covet each and every prayer!