Life Lessons

When I got pregnant with Juliet the kiddos were so excited.  Especially Kynlee.  We weren’t going to find out the sex of the baby (per ryan’s request) and have it be a surprise.  Kynlee insisted that it be a girl.  I told her that Jesus gets to decide that and it might be a girl or it might be a boy.  She still insisted:)  Tate was game for it to be a girl as well because he didn’t want to have to share a room.  Kynlee was thrilled with the idea.  I secretly was hoping for one as well for the selfish reason that I didn’t want to have to switch the kids rooms around.  Silly, I know…but right now Kynlee has the big room and Tates room couldn’t fit much more than another pillow in it let alone a crib.

We only decided to find out the sex of the baby once we realized Jule’s condition.  We wanted to be able to name her and pray for her specifically.  I believe that there is power in that…and I think it’s been proven.

Throughout the pregnancy we tried to prepare the kids as best as possible to the severity of the situation.  At random times Kynlee would come up to me and say Jesus is going to make her better and then give her back right mom?  Or, I really want baby Jules to live with us forever.  I know baby girl, me too.

Tate would be a little more blunt.  He would say, Baby Jules might get to come home and live with us but then she’s gonna die.  Out of the mouth of babes.

Towards the end of the pregnancy Kynlee started to say that momma was going to have a boy baby next because a boy baby wouldn’t be sick.  So hard for them to understand.

We have been so grateful that the kids have gotten to meet baby Jules and bond with her.  Along with that though, also is going to come many life lessons…some that are good to learn…and some that are really tough to understand.

My parent’s got to the hospital about 5 minutes after Jules was born and brought the kids in.  We really wanted the best chance of them meeting her alive.  When they first came in they were both nervous.  Neither of them wanted to hold her or kiss her.  I can’t say I really blamed them.  Doctors were still in the room, they haven’t seen their mom in a hospital bed before, Jules still wasn’t all cleaned up.  It was a little intimidating, but I was just hoping they weren’t scared of her.  The other day Tate was sitting on the couch watching tv and out of no where he said to me, “Mom, I should have given Jules a kiss at the hospital.”

I love my tender spirited boy.  I had never said anything about that but he must have been thinking about it for quite some time.  He also said to me, “mom, if someone says Jule’s is weird that’s not nice, right?”  My first thought was who said she was weird (mama bear pops out quite fast)  but I don’t think anyone did.  I think he was just looking out for his little sister.

Life lesson #1 — People that are different from us are just as beautiful and created in the image of God.  We are called to love everyone!

Since Jules has been home we have heard some phrases that you wouldn’t normally hear your kids say. The other night Kynlee said, “Is she breathing?? Oh she is!!”

Tate looked at her one night and said, “Is she blue mom?”

and, Does she need oxygen?

Normally you would hope your kids wouldn’t have to think like this, but this is our new reality.

Life Lesson #2–Our days are numbered and only God knows how long we will have.  We need to live each day for Jesus and glorify Him, knowing eternity is waiting.

Lastly, the kids have started to bond.  Kynlee asked the other day if baby Jules can sleep in her room.  When I told her probably not, she got the biggest pout face.  They shower her in kisses and hold her every chance mom will give them (which isn’t always a lot since I’m a baby hog.)  They say goodnight to her every night and run in to see her in the morning.  Juliet has become such a part of our family…they love her.

Life lesson #3–We don’t always understand God’s plan.

This has been a lesson for all of us.  We know God is good.  We trust Him and his plan for our life.  We know he works out good for those who love him.  But this does not mean that we always understand everything.  We may not understand it until the day we  meet Him face to face.  Right now, I am just trusting His word and knowing that His will will be done.  I’m also praying that somehow my kids can understand this as well.

I know I say it every time, but thank you for your prayers…please continue to pray as we continue on this journey.  There are really good days and there are really hard days, and we covet each and every prayer!

 

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5 thoughts on “Life Lessons”

  1. I’m sorry to put this in the comment section, but didn’t see another place to put it. Is there a place I can subscribe to your blog via e-mail. Thanks

    1. I’m so sorry, I set up the blog myself and haven’t quite figured out how to have people subscribe by email. I’m trying to get some help in that area soon:). Thanks so much for stopping by:)

  2. Lindsay Kjolhaug

    I read this last night and just can’t stop thinking about it. You write beautifully, Allie. And I love your honesty. I kept thinking about how kids sometimes open their mouths and out falls the most astonishing truths. And as a mother they can just melt your heart, or bring you to your knees. We continue to pray for you and your family, to thank God for Jules, and to ask out friends and family to remember you in their prayers. I know God has got the Lundeen family in the palm of his hand.

    “Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.” Isaiah 65:24

    Love you guys! ~Rosemount Kjolhaugs

  3. Out of the mouths of babes exactly but your children as well as everyone else who reads your posts and sees the pictures of sweet Juliet are learning so very much just how precious life really is. To me she looks amazing, she looks healthy, has wonderful color and appears to be a very content little girl in spite of all she has been dealt with in her life. I love that you call her Jules because she truly is a JEWEL! None of us ever know just how long with have a person in our lives and sometimes it is shorter than longer. Treasure your special Juliet as I know you are each and every day because she is a GEM!!!

  4. Allison, I heard about your precious little girl when you were pregnant with her. You have such an amazing heart to be willing to share your journey with everyone. I continue to pray for you and your family in all that you are going through. Juliet is a perfect little miracle. If I were in your shoes I would not change anything about her. I believe God gives special babies to special parents because they know they can handle the trials and hard roads a head. I have a son with developmental delays, who, according to the doctors, was not supposed to make it through the pregnancy. I look at him everyday and praise God for giving me him and I would not change anything about him. I just continue to push on and try to be the best mother to him.

    Here are a couple of short messages/stories I know you would relate to:

    THE SPECIAL MOTHER:
    Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen?
    Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
    “This one gets a daughter. The Patron saint will be Cecelia”
    “This one gets twins. The Patron saint will be Matthew”
    “This one gets a son. The Patron saint…..give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity”
    Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles. “Give her a disabled child”.
    The angel is curious. “Why this one God? She’s so happy”
    “Exactly,” smiles God. “Could I give a disabled child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel!”
    “But has she patience?” asks the angel.
    “I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of sorrow and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she’ll handle it. I watched her today, she has that feeling of self and independence that is so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.”
    “But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you”
    God smiles, “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect – she has just enough selfishness”
    The angel gasps – “Selfishness? is that a virtue?”
    God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally she won’t survive. Yes here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a ‘spoken word’. She will never consider any ‘step’ ordinary. When her child says “Momma” for the first time she will be present at a miracle and will know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see…ignorance, cruelty and prejudice…and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side”
    “And what about her Patron saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air.
    God smiles “A mirror will suffice”

    THE BRAVE LITTLE SOUL:

    Not too long ago in Heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. He especially enjoyed the love He saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day however, the little soul was sad, for on this day he saw suffering in the world. He approached God and sadly asked, “Why do bad things happen, why is there suffering in the world?”.

    God paused for a moment and replied, “Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in peoples hearts”. The little soul was confused. “What do you mean”, he asked. God replied, “Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences, and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone.

    The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued, “The suffering soul unlocks the love in people’s hearts much like the sun and rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine freely, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this-it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer-to unlock this love-to create this miracle-for the good of all humanity.

    Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain himself. With his wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied, “I am brave; let me go! I would like to go into this world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people’s hearts! I want to create that miracle!

    God smiled and said, “You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help you create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. They have already chosen a name for you.

  5. Christie Halonen

    Allison – you have an amazing gift for telling your daughters/ family’s story! As i sit here reading your post I want to Hit a “like” button on everything you said. Your kids are so innocent as they talk about her yet in the same sense they know that someone might view precious Jules as “weird” (as tate put it) and want to defend and protect her. What a wonderful blessing siblings are! As I watch my kids grow and have their share of sibling love and spats I look back when I was growing up and all the memories we made and what great friends I am with my sisters and brothers today. Tate and Kynlee are getting the chance to help make wonderful memories with their little sister and they too will look back and know how special she was to your family. God’s blessing to you and your family.

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