For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.

Hebrews 13:14

There have been times on this blogging journey that I seriously question why I blog.  Why I decorate.  Why I share.  There are moments of clarity that I can see that this “stuff” is meaningless, although it seems hard to attain that mentality.  Yet I know the Lord is the one that created this passion inside of me.  And he continues to encourage me to keep sharing.  And the only reason I can think of is because it’s not whether our houses are the most beautiful, or if a girl became confident to pick up a power tool, or to share the newest DIY I have done, but rather, to build a platform.  A platform where Jesus’ name is glorified.  At least in the long run that is my ultimate goal and prayer.

There are days I’m so grateful for this platform, and there are days that I want to throw it all in the trash.  But here’s the thing, whether we have 10,000 readers, or run into 10 people throughout the week, our platform is truly the same.  You see, the Lord called us to follow Him, no matter what.  For our whole lives.  Living in this whole ugly world.

And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it. “For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself?

Luke 9:23-25

You see, this reality was made a little bit clearer this week.  And these words meant a little bit more.  Most of us think we are invincible.  At least I do.  I go throughout my day not thinking always how I can take up my cross for Jesus, but rather, what’s for dinner?  Is the laundry done?  When have the kids bathed last?

I find myself thinking next year I will, or in 5 years our family will look like, or who will my kids marry when they grow up.

But the reality is, we aren’t always guaranteed tomorrow.  A reality that I should have had burned in my memory forever when we lost our little girl 38 days after she was born.  But the struggle is daily.

You see, to live in this world is to daily fight the temptations that come along with it.  Something I fail at every day.  The reality is we do live in this world and we can create, beautify, and take what the Lord has given us to shine a little brighter.  But we first must recognize the one who gives us life, and make sure our lives are glorifying Him in all actions.  So we can be a living testimony to all of those around us.  The clerk at the grocery store, the drive thru lady, the mom reading your blog that has lost hope, your husband that walks through the door after a long day of work.  Our actions, our decisions, our reactions, are the legacy we leave.  They are our living testimony to God’s love for us and the hope that we have in Him.

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

1 Timothy 6:12

I was convicted of that this past week, when I got a message that one of my best friends, my college roommate passed away and is now in the arms of Jesus.

My immediate reaction was to be so mad.

You see, this is my friend..

IMG_5493 and this is her family..

IMG_5495 To make matters worse, she was on a mother-daughter cruise with her oldest when tragedy struck.  They left the ship to go on a swimming with the dolphins excursion in Jamaica, something they had always wanted to do.  On their way back from their excursion, a truck swerved into their lane, hitting their tour bus, and killing one person.  One person.  My sweet friend, momma to four beauties, wife to one amazing husband, and sweet soul that loved Jesus with every breath.

You can see more of her story here.

Crystal and her family were just at our house last month.  The kids giggled and played the whole time.  The hubbies chatted and discussed life, and Crystal and I caught up and talked motherhood among other things.  This girl has been a part of me for the last 10 years.  How do you believe that someone like that is just gone.  Never to be seen again.  It would be sooo easy to become bitter.  To questions why her?  Why just one casualty.  How come you didn’t save her Lord, because we all know God can intervene.  How can you allow a beautiful soul like this to die so young, one who has 4 babies that depend on her, and leave others here?

But we are not called to question why.  Trust me, I would have left my faith behind a long time ago if we did.  We are called to trust, glorify, and press in.  And when we do, GOD IS FAITHFUL.

My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63:8

My friend Crystal left behind a legacy.  Her life was a living testimony that the Lord is already using to bring others to know Him, which in turn saves lives because it brings ETERNAL LIFE.  Something so much more valuable than life on this broken earth.  And Crystal has challenged me as well.  She has challenged me to look at my actions, to be a daily testimony in my house, in my neighborhood, and in the lives I touch.  I so desire others to say why is she different, why is there hope in darkness, joy in mourning, smiles through pain. How can this be?

Let us give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! Because of his great mercy he gave us new life by raising Jesus Christ from death. This fills us with a living hope, and so we look forward to possessing the rich blessings that God keeps for his people. He keeps them for you in heaven, where they cannot decay or spoil or fade away. They are for you, who through faith are kept safe by God’s power for the salvation which is ready to be revealed at the end of time.

Be glad about this, even though it may now be necessary for you to be sad for a while because of the many kinds of trials you suffer.

1 Peter 1:3-6

And although there is hope, there are still tears.  Tears for a friendship gone too soon. Tears for four sweet babies that will grow up without their momma by their side, tears for a hubby whose gonna have a long road of healing ahead, and tears because we live in a broken world.

My desire in writing this blog post, that I have seriously sat down 15 times to write, are three fold.

1.)  I desire to bring encouragement that even when life doesn’t’ seem fair, even when things aren’t going the way you think they should, even when it seems hopeless, we can HAVE HOPE!  And there is only one way to attain that hope.  I would love to answer any questions or help anyone if they are struggling with this today!

2.)  To bring as many prayers to my friends sweet family as we can.  Ryan and I have experienced the power of prayer.  I am here to testify that God’s word is truth.  He IS close to the brokenhearted.  He DOES bring about an indescribable faith, one this world can not understand.  And that is my prayer for rick and these kids.  That the prayer from each of us stands in the gap, strengthens them, encourages them, and brings them new hope every morning.

3.)  I also desire to help this family as much as possible.  Crystal was a stay at home mom.  Rick is a family pastor at Substance Church.  If we can do nothing else than relieve some of the burden this world brings about with finances, so they don’t have to stress about that, wouldn’t that also be a testimony?  There are two ways that you can help.  Their church has set up a memorial at Wells Fargo where 100% of the proceeds go to Rick and the kids.  All you have to do is walk into any Wells Fargo branch and donate to the “Crystal Glewwe (pronounced glev-y) Memorial Fund.”  And if you don’t get the opportunity to get to a Wells Fargo Bank, you can also donate to this Go Fund Me page that was set up for the family.  Go fund me does take 7% of the funds, but it is sometimes easier to click and give:)

Please help me in blessing this amazing family!

crystal Crys, I love you and I miss you already!  I can’t help but think there were so many memories yet to come….but those will have to wait.


For now, give my sweet girl a squeeze, tell her I’ll see her soon, and know that your family is being lifted up and lives are being changed because of the life you lived!  Because of your living testimony sweet girl!

IMG_5459 all the hugs!! xoxo




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24 thoughts on “WHEN YOU CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHY….”

  1. Such a beautiful post… thank you for sharing your heart on so many levels. I’ve been praying for her family and week continue to… I actually found you through a Subtance Church post on Instagram.

  2. I had heard about this through our small group at church last week. We have been praying for her family. It really made me stop, think and pray being that I too have 4 children similar in ages to hers. I am not afraid of dying because I know I will be with Jesus but I do fear the thought of my children growing up without me.

  3. Thank you for sharing your heart and this story Allie. It touched me deeply as I share a name and four kids (3 girls and a baby boy) almost the same ages as your friend’s. I am praying for the family all through my days, I cannot imagine leaving my babies so young and can only begin to imagine what they and their daddy are going through.

    I was also wondering if you could confirm the last 4 digits on the Wells Fargo Memorial Fund account. I made a donation but it doesn’t say the name or anything and I wanted to make sure it went into the correct account.

    Thank you and prayers for you all…

    1. Thank you so much for your sweet words Crystal, and for the donation. What a blessing:) I don’t have the information at this time but I will try to track it down! hugs!

  4. I’m sorry for the early departure of your friend, God work in mysterious ways, I learn that when He took my brother and leave 5 kids (the youngest a 5 month girl). He gives and take away, sometimes is hard to understand, 12 years later sometimes I still don’t! But GOD will help heal you and her family too. Continue your blog, I love it. You are an ispiration

  5. Just what I needed to hear. All the petty things don’t mean much when death happens! Thanks for the wonderful words. God is bigger than anything we go through.

  6. One of my friends just sent me this post because it is so similar to my story, as my husband suddenly went to be with the Lord recently leaving me a widow of 3 boys under 3. I know the heart break and I am walking through it right now with Jesus as our anchor and Hope. Just lifted up this precious family and friends, may Christ continue to be exalted through the pain. The Lord is good and He is enough.

    1. Oh Brittany, thank you for your words of encouragement. I am always amazed when the grieving comfort the rest of the world! I will be praying for you as well and praise Jesus you have Him to lean on. xoxo

  7. So sorry to hear about your friend. Thank you for your blog – its one of my favorites and i’m so glad you do what you do with the gifts the Lord has given to you. This life is just but a mist, and thank you for that reminder today.

  8. You have the Lord working through you and it shows. Like your blog and I read this with eyes open to faith and biblical teaching reminding us of His truth and promise. I plan to lift this special family in prayer along with your family too. I am making a stop at Wells Fargo too. Thank you for your blog!

  9. Allie, It’s been a long time but I saw your post through Erin H. on FB. What a beautiful tribute and encouragement to me your blog post was tonight. I’ve been heavy hearted about Crystal’s passing and praying for her family. Many blessings to you and your family.

  10. I faithfully read your blog and am so, so sorry for you in the loss of this beautiful friend. Thankful to know that she is in her real home and you will see her again, but am sorry for the hurt and suffering you, her friends, and family are facing now. Praying for all of you.

  11. I go to Substance church. Rick is my son’s children’s pastor. My heart is broken for this family and those who know them closely. your blog was incredible…thank for writing it. You, too, will now be in my prayers.

  12. I am so sorry for your loss. Beautiful words. Beautiful truth spoken. I pray nightly for everyone who is going through this right now. Even now Lord…your Grace is present and sufficient.

  13. Melissa Serritslev

    Crystal was such a beautiful person inside and out, I haven’t seen Crystal for years but the memories I have with her are unforgettable. Crystal took me to church one evening after school {high School} and encouraged me to get baptized, I did, and among many other things we did together I will treasure the memories always! It was so fitting that a friend like Crystal would be the person to make sure I get baptized and wow I’m so thankful! Crystal I have always been so inspired by you and the life you lived, I’m certain my inspiration will continue on, thank you for that! I can’t wait to see you again, GOD has you with him, I’m praying you’ll be able to watch your beautiful family grow on this earth! To you, Allie, this couldn’t have been written more beautifully, you too are an inspiration to me. I don’t know you but I will be praying for you and your family as well and your sweet baby in heaven!

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